KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
