I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize