Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
