Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
