chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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