i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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