I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
