in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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