I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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