Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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