I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
