at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize