wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize