I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
