I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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