Can Purell be used as lube?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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