I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
