North Korea, Best Korea!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize