We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's shark week go big or go home
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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