would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize