The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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