I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The uberlube is also flammable
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
