addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
