my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize