tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
