Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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