thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
and she was petting her beer can
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
