Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
