thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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