you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
