another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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