Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
