Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
