pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
