My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize