Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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