I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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