Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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