She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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