Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
