Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
