Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
