he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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