i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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