I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
