Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
