Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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