So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize