I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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