O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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