The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
