Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My vagina just clenched in fear
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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