shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
