Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I didn't notice because vodka
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
