I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
