You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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