If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
