I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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