i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
