Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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