Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Pooping to opera.
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