If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
