Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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