Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize